Although I’m having trouble staying afloat, I trust in God’s plan. I have so many reasons to just give in. Telling myself countless times that my life is no longer worth anything. I’m tired all I seem to be doing nowadays is sleep. Finding comfort in instant gratification is no longer doing anything for me. As I pray, I try to listen to what God would say if he were here with me. “Do not give up, son” “Your time is near” but every word spoken seems like an empty promise. I listen more to the voices echoing from my past, past sins and mistakes that I’ve made that make me question my reality. I’m so far gone and yet I hang on to the thread of hope that I’m redeemed because of who I believe in. There’s not much I can do except let God. In this way, my future and the outcome of my life is highly dependent on God. Knowing this gives me a sense of peace that can’t really be explained. Although i’m considered worthless to the world and have hit past rock bottom, no job, no real friends, no girl, no money, I have a feeling that things will turn out okay. Maybe even better than okay. I’ll find all the success im looking for, the girl that I’ve waited my entire life to meet, and have friendships that actually matter.
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